Thursdays at the Theater Vol XIX
Oh. My. God. This is the end. I’m here, you’re here, we’re all here for the final Thursdays at the Theater article. At least, the last one written by Joshua Volkers. I will be graduating in less than two weeks, so I’m going to give this last entry my all as I have all of my other ones. I do hope that the new team of writers that will be recruited for next year are able to pick this up and continue on with it because I did invest a lot in doing these every couple of weeks, but even so, all things must come to an end at some point. Without further ado, let us get into this last hurrah, of sorts.
I feel I have to comment on this considering that it is rather abnormal, but Warcraft, the movie that only did 24 million opening weekend here domestically managed to gross over 156 million dollars in China in its first weekend of release. As a point of comparison, Star Wars: The Force Awakens which had a massive marketing push by Disney over there only made roughly 124 million dollars over there in it’s entire run in theaters. That is nuts! I guess the Chinese really like slaying virtual monsters.
But the world of entertainment marches ever onwards, even with an odd case like Warcraft’s. This week we look like we’re going to get some pretty solid movies. First up is Finding Dory, the sequel to the 2004 Pixar hit film Finding Nemo. This movie focuses on the character of Dory from the first movie and is looking to explore her past as she searches for her family. Her search has her wind up at an aquarium which she must escape from while Marlin and Nemo follow after her. So far the film has drawn in a highly positive reception from critics, so all of you who love the original can probably rest easy. Right alongside it we have Central Intelligence, a film starring Kevin Hart as a mild-mannered accountant Calvin Joyner, missing his glory days as a high school football star, who is drawn into the world of CIA espionage as his old, bullied high school friend Bob Stone played by Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson asks for his help. Bob was horribly obese as a child and into his teenage years, but over the years has transformed himself into the CIA’s deadliest agent. Calvin’s the only one who ever showed him kindness and that’s why he has enlisted his help. The director of this movie directed Dodgeball: An Underdog Story and We’re the Millers, so clearly he has an eye for comedy and I personally am really looking forward to this, it seems like Kevin Hart is taking a backseat to Dwayne Johnson here and that’s a good thing seeing as I think recently a lot of his comedies have been overloaded by a lot of his Hartisms. I’ve heard early audience buzz that the movie is rather funny, so if you want a good laugh, Central Intelligence may just be your best bet.
The following week is loaded with releases. Four movies are going to be opening in theaters on June 24th! Most prominent out of all of them would be Independence Day 2: Resurgence, the sequel to the 1996 hit film Independence Day which is one of my favorite cheesy blockbusters, and takes place 20 years after the original. Humanity has now used the aliens’ technology to advance their own way of life and become a united, global power. Unfortunately, the rest of the alien race we blew up is not happy about what we did to them in the first movie and have come to wreak havoc. Just as a mental note: They like to get the landmarks. Will Smith is not returning, so his character has unfortunately been killed off, but Bill Pullman and more importantly Jeff Goldblum still reappear with newcomer Liam Hemsworth playing the boyfriend of the President’s daughter as they all prepare for the next invasion. It looks dumb, it sounds dumb, but oh boy is it going to be so much fun on a scale of being a silly popcorn blockbuster. We also have Free State of Jones, a war film based on the true events of the uprising against the Confederacy during the American Civil War that lead to the creation of the eponymous Free State of Jones. Matthew McConaughey portrays Newton Knight, and what I’ve liked so far from what I’ve seen is that they’re really selling you on the gritty aspect. There aren’t any white teeth or clean haircuts in sight, all of these people are dirty and filthy as would befit the era, so at least they’re being accurate.
We also have auteur filmmaker Nicolas Winding Refn with his latest feature The Neon Demon. Refn is known for being a love-or-hate filmmaker as far as his movies go, but he is always the talk of critics whenever one of his new movies release. The Neon Demon depicts Elle Fanning as an up-and-coming model who is thrust into the dangerous world of the fashion industry as she associates herself with competitive women who have dangerous and even murderous personalities. So far it has drawn a rather mixed reception, and I can’t say I’m surprised. Finally, we have The Shallows! You may have seen TV spots for this movie, but quality wise it may just be the best movie to come out that weekend. Blake Lively stars as a young surfer who goes out one day only to be stranded not far from shore and being circled by a hungry shark. Now look, I understand that sharks are in fact not hostile at all, they are only dangerous when they believe that a human is a seal, but I must admit that as far as a movie goes, the premise of being stranded only a short way away from land by a predatory fish is a great fictional premise ripe for a lot of potential for tension. The director of this movie has previously directed the Liam Neeson films Unknown, Non-Stop, and Run By Night. I caught Unknown and Non-Stop both on TV, and I thought they were rather decent films with a cool directing style, so seeing him take on something smaller and more compact has my interest.
And I guess that’s it. The normal rundown for Thursdays at the Theater is done with, and now I just want to say a word to all of you. I started this feature because I truly love movies, I loved writing, and so when given the chance to join the newspaper team I leaped at the opportunity. And so before I leave this year, I just want to say that you have to always follow your ambitions, your wants, your needs, all of that. You’ve been given a lot of advice over the years with all of the presentations, the guest speakers, the documentaries, the drug talks, yadda yadda yadda, all that hoopla. So please, just take this one last bit of advice from a fellow student: Know when not to take advice. Decide for yourself what to do with your life. Create your own path. If you need help, you just have to look for it. For some of you, that’s easier said than done, but persistence is always key. Whether it’s becoming a journalist, an actor, a dancer, a pro basketball player, anything. It’s not going to be at all easy, but keep two feet on the ground and your head straight, you’ll be able to pull through. Trust me. How the hell do you think somebody like me slums it through high school?
Well, that’ll wrap things up for this last edition of Thursdays at the Theater. It’s been a blast, but it’s also time to move on. I bid you all good luck as I venture onwards to see if adulthood is all it’s cracked up to be. For the last time, this is Joshua Volkers signing out, and as always: Stay strong, Titans. And farewell.
